Anne Applebaum published an article on March 14, 2011. The article is called "If Japanese can't build a safe reactor, who can?" By the title, you can probably guess what it's about so I am not going to bore you with summarizing it, but I will say this is not an effective article. The reason I say this is because it does not have equal parts of rhetorical analysis. Rhetorical analyses are Ethos, Logos, Pathos, and Kairos. Applebaum's article has little to none of ethos. Here is an example of what she believed to be was ethos in her article; Applebaum calls Japan "competent and technologically brilliant." This is not ethos even though she complements Japan it is not considered ethos. The reason I say this is because we do not even know if Anne Applebaum is credible because she does not tell us what her relationship to reactors is and how she knows so much about them. Without any of this information, her article does not have any ethos to it at all.

Applebaum's article has pathos. In the 2nd paragraph, Applebaum says "letting off radioactive steam,""two explosions" and "worsen." She uses these words to make the reader scared, fearful, and worried about radioactive steam and scared of nuclear power plants. However, by the diction Applebaum was using it made it seem like the engineers trying to stop the nuclear power plant from exploding were in the wrong to do so because the plant was letting out radioactive steam. Her choice of diction makes the reader scared and worried. But, her choice of diction also makes her tone seem patronizing and contemptuous. Applebaum is trying to be helpful in relaying the information she has but is making Japan seem superior and better than any other company or industry that is trying to build improved and safe power plants. For example, Applebaum says "competent and technologically brilliant." She complementing Japan so much that it is going to make the reader believe every word she says. Applebaum also says she feels nothing but "admiration" for Japan and if anyone can prevent a disaster, "the Japanese can do it." Both of these examples are proof that Applebaum's article has a tone pf patronizing. Applebaum is complementing and making Japan look smarter and greater than any other company that is trying to do the same. However, she is not only patronizing but she is also contemptuous with her writing in this article. The reason I say that her tone is also contemptuous is that she makes every company and industry that are trying to improve or better their nuclear reactors seem bad or not as good as Japan. For example, Applebaum wrote in the 4 paragraph 'super safe"next generation" nuclear reactor.' By Applebaum wording this paragraph like this it makes it seem like she is downgrading the Franco-German company that is trying to improve their nuclear reactors before they explode. Another example is when Applebaum uses the word "allegedly" when describing what the Franco-German company is trying to improve. By using the word allegedly when making this fact makes it seem like she doesn't believe them or trust them because of this word. But, the reason her tone is contemptuous is because of her diction describing every company that is trying to become safer.

Applebaum's writing does have Kairos. Now kairos is apart of rhetorical analysis but it is not commonly looked unless it is used when writing about a certain situation that has currently happened when writing their article. But, in Applebaum's article, it is used. Applebaum wrote this article after three reactors at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power station lost their cooling capacities and after a tsunami hit Japan. This article has big kairos because of the Japan situation that happened. Applebaum's article also has logos in it aswell. Applebaum uses logos in paragraph 4 and in paragraph 5. For example, she says "nuclear plants emit no carbon" and she also gives the amounts of nuclear power plants that are under construction and that are being proposed and planned. This is good logos but there should be more logos added to the article. Applebaum's article is not effective because it does not have equal amounts of rhetorical analysis. With the equal amounts of ethos, logos, pathos, and kiaros makes the article more effective and well written.

Applebaum's article has pathos. In the 2nd paragraph, Applebaum says "letting off radioactive steam,""two explosions" and "worsen." She uses these words to make the reader scared, fearful, and worried about radioactive steam and scared of nuclear power plants. However, by the diction Applebaum was using it made it seem like the engineers trying to stop the nuclear power plant from exploding were in the wrong to do so because the plant was letting out radioactive steam. Her choice of diction makes the reader scared and worried. But, her choice of diction also makes her tone seem patronizing and contemptuous. Applebaum is trying to be helpful in relaying the information she has but is making Japan seem superior and better than any other company or industry that is trying to build improved and safe power plants. For example, Applebaum says "competent and technologically brilliant." She complementing Japan so much that it is going to make the reader believe every word she says. Applebaum also says she feels nothing but "admiration" for Japan and if anyone can prevent a disaster, "the Japanese can do it." Both of these examples are proof that Applebaum's article has a tone pf patronizing. Applebaum is complementing and making Japan look smarter and greater than any other company that is trying to do the same. However, she is not only patronizing but she is also contemptuous with her writing in this article. The reason I say that her tone is also contemptuous is that she makes every company and industry that are trying to improve or better their nuclear reactors seem bad or not as good as Japan. For example, Applebaum wrote in the 4 paragraph 'super safe"next generation" nuclear reactor.' By Applebaum wording this paragraph like this it makes it seem like she is downgrading the Franco-German company that is trying to improve their nuclear reactors before they explode. Another example is when Applebaum uses the word "allegedly" when describing what the Franco-German company is trying to improve. By using the word allegedly when making this fact makes it seem like she doesn't believe them or trust them because of this word. But, the reason her tone is contemptuous is because of her diction describing every company that is trying to become safer.

Applebaum's writing does have Kairos. Now kairos is apart of rhetorical analysis but it is not commonly looked unless it is used when writing about a certain situation that has currently happened when writing their article. But, in Applebaum's article, it is used. Applebaum wrote this article after three reactors at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power station lost their cooling capacities and after a tsunami hit Japan. This article has big kairos because of the Japan situation that happened. Applebaum's article also has logos in it aswell. Applebaum uses logos in paragraph 4 and in paragraph 5. For example, she says "nuclear plants emit no carbon" and she also gives the amounts of nuclear power plants that are under construction and that are being proposed and planned. This is good logos but there should be more logos added to the article. Applebaum's article is not effective because it does not have equal amounts of rhetorical analysis. With the equal amounts of ethos, logos, pathos, and kiaros makes the article more effective and well written.
Hey Amelia, to get right into it I want to say that I don't like how you started this essay. It was very casual and it wasn't very good. You just stated things like logos, pathos, ethos, and kairos, but didn't explain them. You shouldn't state all these things in the beginning and just go one by one using what she says to show how it isn't an effective article. Just stating things makes your score go down by a lot on the test. I feel like you can improve a lot in the structure of this essay. You also need to check your spelling and grammar, because these will also effect your score drastically. Overall I'd give you either a low band 4 or band 3.
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ReplyDeleteHonestly I thought this blog was OK. You touched on a few good points, but the way you went about addressing them is where I have an issue. You just list what you are going to be talking about. You make your paragraphs as just saying what the Logos, Ethos, Pathos, and Kairos and don't really explain what your reasonings are. You need to make sure you explain all of your points and use chunks of the text so that you can get into a better band by staying focused and on topic. I also noticed several grammar and spelling errors which you need to really watch out for because Cambridge readers will be watching out for that and score you lower if your grammar isn't great.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I liked your ideas that you wrote about but think that the structure needs to be improved and be less "cookie cutter" and not seem like a list.
I think I would give you a band 4 overall because of some of the grammar issues and the fact that you didnt really explain your points that well
Ameilia,
ReplyDeleteFor starters I did not really like your introduction and I thought you could of been more elaborate and explain it a little more. I thought you shouldn't assume that the audience knows what the article is about. You should always put two or three sentences giving a little background information on the article so the audience knows what the essay is going to be about ahead. Plus it adds more words to your essay making it longer. However, I did like how you used quotes from the text which gave good evidence and made it seem stronger. Although I thought you brought up good points but they didn't seem as strong as the way you went about it and explaining. On top of that you had a few grammar issue but overall I would give you a band 4.
To begin, the way you began your blog was not effective nor good formatting. The first sentence is short, and turns me off of reading your blog from the very beginning. Also you capatalized the ethos, logos, pathos and kairos which it shouldn't be. There was also no transititon between your first point, and the intro. It needs to be separated. Started a paragraph, that should be indented, with "Applebaum's article has pathos." is completely incorrect. In no writing ever should something be started like that. You also didn't show a difference between your points on kairos and logos. There should be tons of more detail added for logos as well. The first couple sentences of the kairos paragraph is not correct formatting, and really needs to be rewritten or deleted. Those points also need evidence. There should be an inconclusion at the end as well.
ReplyDeleteHey Amelia. Overall, I’d have to say that this blog has a lot of issues. I feel like you could’ve done a lot more and you kind of sped through this. My first problem comes from your word choice. Words like Ethos, Pathos, Logos, and Kairos feel like they’re put in just to fill a quota. I believe substitutions should be used to make your diction more effective and have your sentences flow more freely. That’s another point: some of your sentences don’t properly flow and it makes your paragraphs feel awkward as a whole. Lastly, while you do delve into topics like logos, ethos, and diction, you fail to really explain as to why their implementations add to the whole of the article. I’d have to give this attempt a low to medium bracket 4; good attempt but it needs refining.
ReplyDeleteTo start off your introduction was very cringy. As the reader, I felt like you could have appealed to your readers from a better standpoint rather than just say, “By the title, you can probably guess what it's about so I am not going to bore you with summarizing it, but I will say this is not an effective article.” I would rather have you over-explain your reasoning rather than under. Moving forward, I noticed that you flat out stated “Applebaum's article has pathos”, “Applebaum's writing does have Kairos”, “ Applebaum's article has little to none of ethos.” etc.. I feel that you could have come into your paragraphs with a different approach to strengthen your analysis. I did, however, like how you incorporated textual evidence when explaining your reasoning. Lastly, I noticed that your article had grammatical and spelling errors, which is very volatile when grading your analysis because it brings your score down leaving you with a bad band score. Overall, I would give you a band 5 because you did make some relevant points which showed your understanding but, the structure and development lacked.
ReplyDeleteAmelia,
ReplyDeleteTo begin, I'd like to touch on the organization of your paper. You begin very strongly with an introduction on the article. I do believe you should keep textual evidence out of the introduction paragraph. If you were to take that information out about ethos, you could make it another paragraph and go more in depth. Your paragraph on pathos was very strong but almost too much. It is very lengthy and leaves no room/time for the other forms of rhetorical devices. There's more that could have been elaborated on in your kairos and logos paragraphs. Lastly there are just a couple of spelling and grammar mistakes but overall I thought you did a very good job. I would give you a band four.
Hi Amelia, I kind of agree with the rest of the people that commented of your blog. The way that you started your blog didn't really catch my attention. You kind of just stated logos, pathos, ethos, and kairos, and then that was it. You should make sure to elaborate instead of just stating things to make sure that your score doesn't go down (remember Cambridge grades hard). You have a lot of potential, but you just need a little push (I promise you'll get just that since you're in Scalia's). I feel like you could do a little better on structure, spelling, and try to be careful with grammar, these are big things to be aware of it will bring your score down a lot. For this blog I would say its at a low band 4.
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ReplyDeleteAmelia,
To be honest, I did not like the way you started your blog. In your introduction paragraph, you said “By the title, you can probably guess what it's about so I am not going to bore you with summarizing it, but I will say this is not an effective article.” regardless of who is reading this blog it is better to give a few sentences to summarize and inform your reader on what you will be talking about rather than leaving them in the dark about what’s to come. When transitioning from one point to the other, you disrupted the flow of the paper, for example from the intro to the first body paragraph you started that paragraph by saying “ Applebaum's article has pathos.” when identifying the pathos in a piece of writing you never want to come straight out and say it contains pathos. Lastly, you did make a few grammatical errors placing your blog around a band 4.