We live in a society! A society were minorities are judged and degraded for being themselves. Such as, gays, African Americans, religion an even artists. African Americans have been oppressed since the dawn of time. For having a different skin color then the whites and they have been blamed for crimes they did not commit. In the book "the Crucible" by Arthur Miller the character Tituba is an example of this type of African American oppression. Tituba was blamed for Betty and Ruth's "possession" or being of accused of "be witching" them. Let me give you some background information on how this all started. Abigail, Betty, Tituba and the rest of the girls were in the woods, which is forbidden to go in there, dancing and having fun which there society does not allow. This was seen as a sign of witch craft. The girls were caught dancing in the woods and told a lie to get out of the trouble the would have gotten if they told the truth. From this action there lie became bigger and made the consequence even more dangerous. And Abigail is the mastermind who blames Tituba (who is her uncles and Betty's father's slave) for being witching Betty, her cousin.
Another example of this is, still in Act 1 on pages 44-46 Abigail, Tituba and betty all start naming names of random people with the word good in their names. The lines state " Goody Osburn- I saw Sarah Good with the devil! I saw Goody Osburn with the devil!I saw Bridget Bishop with the devil!..." Abigail and Betty keep naming random peoples names to get rid of the blame off of them. Tituba and these people are examples of people being oppressed and are examples of oppression in our society that we live in. Our Contemporary Society today is basically just like The Crucible.
Hey Amelia! First off figure out your graphics. In the first paragraph were you say you are going to give background information, start a new paragraph. I think the background information provided was helpful and not to much, so that was good. However, the last sentence of the first paragraph didn't make much sense. The next two paragraphs were hard to follow, but I know the correct thought was there. You had some good ideas and thoughts, but the sentence structure made it hard to understand. I think I reread them 3x because I didn't understand it. Also watch for minor typos, such as capitalization.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I thought the thought was there, but you need to work on the writing aspect. Try jotting down ideas that you want to talk about.
Amelia, the biggest issue with this blog I'm seeing so far is all the spelling and grammar mistakes. I was confused at several points in the paper because the spelling/grammar made the sentences unnecessarily confusing. While I believe you have good evidence in support of the topic, you really need to focus on the punctuation, capitalization, and overall sentence structure of your blog in order for the reader to better understand what you're trying to explain. I've never used Grammarly but I've heard that it's good for cleaning up mistakes in a blog or document. Other than that, I think you should more evenly focus on the correlation between minorities who are discriminated against and Tituba in The Crucible. You're supposed to have more evidence about the class who is discriminated against instead of going right into how it relates to the book.
ReplyDeleteHello Ms. :)
ReplyDeleteI think your blog does a great job of pointing all the ways that Tituba is discriminated against and oppressed in the Crucible. You use quotes with page numbers, and even expand upon them to point out how badly Tituba is treated compared to the normal Puritans of the town. You explain things very simply. Maybe too simply.
"Tituba is the example of African American oppression because she is black and is a slave and gets blamed for things she did not do." This sentence a bit frank and feels very run on-y. It's not anything wrong, it just lacks depth. As you continue to talk about Tituba it becomes apparent you do not really understand the social issues that blacks have to face in modern society because your discussion quickly devolves into what seems to be a summary of the story, rather than a cohesive connection between the life of a slave from centuries ago and the modern struggles of African Americans. From the very beginning it is obvious you are only familiar with the face value of this problem. "African Americans have been oppressed since the dawn of time." It sounds like a good statement, but when you think about it, you realize African Americans did not exist until about the 1500's. Maybe you meant Africans in general, but you need to be precise in your word choice when covering such sensitive topics. Ah yes, your word choice.
Your grammar is atrocious. You use 'were' when you should have used 'where.' You used the wrong 'there, they're, their' multiple times. You separate the word bewitching with a space. You also say "Our Contemporary Society today is basically just like The Crucible." Let me translate what you just said "Our society today today is just like The Crucible."
I hope you heed my warning, improve your grammar and pay attention to what you're supposed to answer in a prompt. You'll get better with time... and proofreading.
Amelia,
ReplyDeleteI think that the biggest problem in your blog is grammar and spelling errors. It really interfered with your writing and made me lose interest and trail of thought. You had punctuation errors, spelling errors, capitlization errors, and your sentences and overall writing wasn't structured. I also found it unorganized so it was very sloppy and all over the place. A lot of points were unnecessarily repeated and your paragraphs were confusing. You started off by writing your introduction then stating that you were going to give some background. I liked the idea of that but you didn't start it off with a new paragraph. If you did that it would have been much more clear and less chaotic.
I felt like you were talking too much about the book than the actual topic. You started off with the right trail of thought but you lost focus and started almost summarizing instead. I want to hear more of how the contemporary world is similar to the book than what was happening in the book. I know you had the right thought and knew what you were going to talk about but lost focus as you went on. In all honesty, I went in focused then I lost focus during the second paragraph. I had to reread things throughout the blog a couple of times before I could fully comprehend it. Try organizing your thoughts and know what you're going to write about 100% so you can have a strong arguement. Lastly, you need to proofread EVERYTHING you write, even if you don't recall making the tiniest of mistakes.
Hey Amelia, your blog was very well written. The main problem in your blog is your spelling and grammar. If you fix that, your blog will be extremely fantastically awesome. I like how you gave a description of the book, however instead of going in extreme depth of the play, focus on the prompt. You need to answer the prompt more than explaining unnecessary things. In all, your blog is good. Fix the little things, answer the prompt, you'll be good.
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ReplyDeleteAmelia,
ReplyDeleteThere were two main problems that I saw with this paper. I did not see an example of how the minority group was discriminated against. I believe that there should be more examples on how they are discriminated against in current times than just in the book.
The second point is to always proof read. Please do remember to proof read before publishing. It always helps to do so as you find spelling mistakes and punctuation mistakes.