When we look at both text A and B you can see a lot of differences between them. For example, their tones and the language they used. Besides all of these differences they do have some similarities between them. Such as, their purpose, their audience, and the subject of their writing. Text A and B might look different at the start but the have similar ideas if you look close enough.
Both text A and B have the purpose of discussing cities. Text A is a reference guide book about cities. While, text B is a short story called "City of Dreams" narrated by a homeless man. Both texts talk about cities in their own way. Whether they are describing them or just informing the reader about them. No matter how both texts discuss cities they still have the same topic; cities.
Text B is a imaginative and descriptive writing piece narrated by a homeless man. It describes the nature that lies in it and how the people that live in the city act. For example, text B states "birds open swollen throats to welcome in another day. " Text B uses descriptive writing to create the atmosphere of the city . Text B is also written in the narrators perspective. Text B uses words like " I push crumbs." and "I feel myself." Using words like "I" makes the text first person. When we use I we use it when talking about ourselves and what we are going to do. Text B makes the text seem like we are reading about or viewing the city from the eyes of the homeless man. It makes the text seem like we are seeing what he is seeing rather then including the reader in the text. On the other hand, Text A is not written in first person, but it was written in a way that it includes the reader in their discussion. Text A, for example, states "cities come to us." and "we are pausing." As you can see text A includes the reader in their discussion about cities.
Text B and A are two different writing pieces. Both Text A and B have different descriptive words and different outlooks and tones. Text B is a formal written piece. Text B has a refined word choice. Text B uses words like "inebriation," "congealed," and "haphazard." when describing the people walking around the city. These words used are formal and refined. Text B also has a gloomy out look on the city and the people that live inside of it. For example, it sates " Anxious puppets hurling themselves along parched pavements." Text B describes the people as puppets. Puppets are controlled by person and they have barely any expression of their own. Text B also states, "suffocating beneath skins choked with sweat and fumes." The words "suffocating" and "choking" are used to describe the people walking in the city tying to get to their destination on time. These expressions used have a gloomy and dark effect on the text and on their tone.. These expressions make the texts tone dull, dreadful, and sad. It makes the reader look at cities and seem them as suffocating dirty fume filled death traps that make people puppets. These expression make the reader and the writing have a negative look on cities and their lifestyles.
However, text A is the polar opposite of text B. Text A is positive and is not formally written. Text A describes cities as a "celebration." and "individuals." Text A talks about how colorful and how energy filled they are. It makes the text seem like it is admiring how colorful cities are and how much cities embody different cultures. Text A makes the reader perceive cities as positive places and not fumed filled temples as text B did. Text A has a tone of admiring and optimistic. The words used through out text A make the reader have a positive look on cities and the lifestyles they show.
Text A and B have a lot of differences between them but, they also have some similarities as well. They both have the same purpose, the same audience they are trying to grasp the attention of, and the same topic of their texts. Text A and text B might seem different on the surface but if you look deeper into their meanings then you will see that they are similar in their own ways.
Hi Amelia!
ReplyDeleteOverall, I thought you did a good job on this question.
I thought you did a decent job at comparing the texts. However, one of the first things I noticed was you had a lot of grammatical errors. I saw some engagement in the spoken and written language, but I think you could have used less instances of different examples Your comments to the text kind of scratched the surface and you could have gone deeper. Similarly, I feel that you used too many quotes and not enough in depth explanations behind it. . Overall, I think I would give you a low band 3 / high band 4 on this question. 7-8 points.
Like i mentioned earlier, you had grammatical errors and fluency issues that brought you down a little bit. Overall, i though you did a good job!
Amelia, I liked your blog a lot actually. You compared the structure and the style of both text A and text B with each other very well. Scalia mentioned on Zoom to mention, then elaborate and make sure you explain what you are talking about, and I think that is something you should work on before our test tomorrow. The more quotes that you use don't change how good or bad the paper is. Yes, the longer they are, the more words you will have but it's more about what you say and how you compare the two texts. Band 3
ReplyDeleteHey Amelia. As a start, I thought your arguments were good and I liked how much textual evidence you used to support it all (Thought a bit much at times to be honest). My main gripe is that I think it would be better to talk about the audience and purpose of the texts a bit more as those two aspects are essentially the core differences. Furthermore, I have to disagree when you say that the purposes and audiences of the texts are the same. Text A is much more informative and the audience would be people who are interested in traveling or just wish to learn more about foreign cities considering the fact that it is a reference guide of cities. Text B on the other hand is much more entertaining with its approach and it lacks the same informal approach to its purpose. These two texts have very different purposes and audiences and I feel like you missed them a little bit.
ReplyDeleteDon’t forget that the purpose of a text can be boiled down to being informal, persuasive, entertaining, or any combination of the three. Despite that I’d have to give your text a band 4 overall.
Amelia,
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job at providing textual evidence and then elaborating on that explaining what it means and such. While you did a good job at it, I believe your paper focused too much on quotations and the base meaning of them. More of your paper should have been focused on comparing the language and explaining how it relates to purpose and audience rather than pointing out examples of each part of speech you brought up. I would also recommend reading over your paper if you have any extra time because there were a few grammatical errors, for example you put the titles in quotations rather than italicizing them. Overall I would give you a 4 mainly due to the grammar mistakes.